A thriving and successful relationship requires a compatibility that is unique to every couple. People have hard and soft passes, red and green flags, personal "icks" as rationale or irrational as it may seem to others, and emotional and physical attraction that is all unique to the individual person and couple. When all is said and done, it makes sense that break-ups are just as much a part of life as people actually connecting because once the dust settles on the "newness", the day-to-day life of a couple becomes the make-or-break in that relationship.
In the pop culture and celebrity world, what is presented on-screen and social media is not always as it seems. Take, for example, the massive attention Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart received for their roles as Edward and Bella on Twilight which not only propelled them into the public eye but also activated the desires of their fans for them to be together in real life as well. When it was evident that they did become romantic, people felt so much joy which, unfortunately, came crashing down with the realization that they are real flawed individuals and not their beloved characters. Their break-up was unfortunately public and not at all pretty. Another shocking break-up, most recently, happened between the popular "Us the Duo" who gained fame through their Youtube music and vlog posts. When they announced their divorce, it was also revealed that their marriage was far from perfect and many of what we saw as "the public" was in essence, a facade or a fantasy of a happy couple.
The fact is, we are outsiders in any celebrity couple's relationship--friendship or otherwise. Fixating on what we see as their characters on-screen or even in interviews where they are in "job mode" promoting their work is just not realistic. Focusing on every word, every gesture is pointless because just like in our own real lives, interactions are of the moment. Sometimes we say and do things depending on what's expected or even the mood of the moment. We don't hold ourselves accountable for every nanosecond of interaction with others, so how can we hold celebrities to that standard?
Also, how weird must it be for these celebrities--real people--to see themselves constantly paired with their co-workers and/or friends when they may or may not be in a romantic relationship with one another? Then, if, IF they are in a relationship with someone else--again, real people--outside of what a fandom approves of, they are criticized or even worse, their alleged partners may be harassed or bullied online. How are these celebrities suppose to feel or react? Probably by either retreating from public life, specifically refraining from posting personal stuff on the social media, or being clear about their boundaries. Although "being clear" is still up for interpretation with some people.
Many shipper fans refer to Tom Holland and Zendaya and their perceived fairytale co-stars to real-life romance story as a legitimate reason to ship celebrities. However, their story is still unfolding and although I would never wish any ill will toward anyone, we just simply have no idea how their story will end. We also don't truly know what their personal relationship dynamic is...it seemingly is working out and that's amazingly wonderful, but it's very specific to their story, and their story alone.
Ian Somerhalder from "Vampire Diaries" fame, made such profound comments on the culture of shipping. He very blatantly spurned it as toxic especially from his own personal experience of being shipped with his co-star and the rude and personal attacks that his real-life spouse received. His thoughts are an important piece of content that fandom shippers should heed.
Having witnessed fandom shipping the last few months, I know just how triggered people can be when you take a stance disagreeing with their beliefs. Not all thoughts and comments are welcome and many people do get bullied for stating alternate opinions. But here is mine...shipping celebrities beyond, "Aw, they're cute", is toxic behavior. We don't personally know them. We don't know if they would truly work out as a couple. And let me just say, the tarot readings are creepy!! Can you imagine the celebrities in question seeing these "readings"??!! Oooh, the second-hand embarrassment for me is real.
Also, attacking rumored spouses is never okay. It may or may not be true. But maligning them, stalking their social media and in some cases doxxing them, speculating on their actions, motives and sometimes sexual orientation is all wrong and frankly morally corrupt. We are "fans". We do not know any of these people. Leave them alone. Know better, then hopefully, do better.
