Feminism with Love

I'm fortunate enough to be surrounded by amazing, strong and confident women--all different, all traveling different life journeys--but all wonderful, beautiful and fierce in their own way.  And unfortunately, sometimes, women judge other women harshly for individual choices--whether it be choosing to be a full-time mother, working mom, married, single, choosing to never be a mom, etc, etc. If you're on one side of the fence (a place an individual chooses to put themselves), sometimes you tend to think YOUR choices are the best--what's right.  But honestly, what's right for one person, isn't right for another. 

Feminism invokes different feelings in people.  For some, especially women, the word draws forth  empowerment.  Others use it as a weapon to criticize what they don't understand or agree with--labeling "feminists" as man-hating people.  For me, "feminism" is about women realizing their worth and fighting to make sure that women have the same opportunities as men in society do.  In my version of feminism, both men and women can and should be feminists.  It's not about "girls are better" or "women know more".  It's about giving women the chance to do things that they want to do without stereotyping them into a role they supposedly are not suited for.  Also, feminism, for me, includes not stereotyping men into roles that require them to be "tough" and giving them no room for vulnerability.

So, in essence, it goes back to the more empowering message, "do you"!  This means, "like a girl" changes it's negative connotation to mean that being a girl can be just as strong as any boy.  Throw "like a girl", run "like a girl".  Throw strong, run fast! The expression "man up" doesn't fit anymore.  You mean, "human up", right? Because ALL humans have the ability to draw strength when needed.

Feminism with love...not judging the choices that women or men make in their lives.  Not judging what people do in relationships, in career, in fashion...respecting individual choices and not assuming that they are making the wrong choice because of a belief that it's against one's gender. Whether a man or a woman chooses a simple life, or a high-powered career, it is their choice. Whether a woman decides to wear a short skirt or pants, it's their choice. Feminism is respecting choices.

I saw this meme the other day on one of my feeds & LOVED it! It sums up my stance on motherhood too! Every choice we make is judged--most especially by other mothers. I remember feeling judgement when my kids were young about pretty much the topics above and more.  No one way of loving parenting is right or wrong. We do what feels right. So when I meet a mom with young kids, I make it a point to not judge...and in some instances I can see them about to make an excuse for a particular choice...and I'm like, "Hey, you do what's right for you & your baby." 

As the wife of a loving & forward-thinking man and mother of two brilliant boys, I don't have room in my mind to "hate men" (as I've often heard feminists of feeling). I simply don't.  I am a nurturer and their happiness is my constant goal and focus. I root for my guys' successes and as a mom, I want my boys to follow their dreams and find contentment in their lives. I want them to make the right life path choices, the ones that give them the most joy and peace, whether it has huge monetary rewards or not.  I want my boys to have the same opportunities as anyone else regardless of their (multicultural) race and especially regardless of their gender.  A mothers' unselfish wishes are the same whether they are the mother of boys or girls.  Feminism with love.

I am a feminist.  I believe in human rights, individual rights and equality for all. I am a feminist. So, for those willing to be open-minded.  Let's redefine feminism.  Love for all.

No One Else Can Play Your Part But You

Within the past couple of years, You-Tubers have become Pop Culture beasts (very popular).  My sons' peers idolize names that I've never heard of.  And as in-tune as I'd like to think I am about current events, that genre has never appealed to me, although I have general knowledge of names in passing. Recently, controversy has hit a very prominent You-tuber for posting explicit & horrifying images of  a dead man hanging.  I've never seen the footage & have updated myself on the story by reading only a couple of articles.  I don't wish to bring more attention to that particular story.  But it does spurn me into encouraging those that wish to commit suicide to seek help. 

One particular person I knew personally (a mother, a wife), didn't seem like someone who would ever take her own life. Whatever that would look like.  She left behind a devastated husband and an even more shattered son.  Their lives will never be the same and we all wonder what could've been. But as a wife & mom myself, I have to wonder how deep in despair she must've been to believe in her heart that that drastic course of action was what was right.  I can't even imagine & therefore, shouldn't judge (although I find myself doing so unwillingly).

Notable celebrities who seemed to have everything--fame, money-- have taken their own lives as well, devastating not only their family & friends, but fans who feel like they know them personally.  Again, why didn't they get help?  We can never know.  All we can do is try to reach the ones who haven't yet made that awful and very final decision.  One life at a time. 

If you feel despair, just know, your life is worth it.  Please call 1-800-273-8255.  Talk to someone who will listen. Get help. No one else can play your part. Just you.  Only you.  Live.

Happiness is When....

...you realize that your children have turned out to be good (amazing & kind) people!

I'm so incredibly proud of my two boys!
My First-Born:
A few days ago, in his High School Freshman French class, a fellow student dropped her things so he helped her pick up her stuff. As his Mom, I wouldn't expect anything less from him.  But what touched me is that, the girl tells him, "I can tell that you're a kind and humble person".  I'm so touched that a fellow classmate, his own age, was able to see this in my son and was kind enough herself to express it to him.  He was actually taken aback by the compliment and expressed to me, "How can she know that already..."   Yes, he truly is humble and his kind energy just radiates.

My two hearts! 💖

My Youngest: His school presents Virtue Awards every month.  The month of October is for "Acceptance".  To be honest, sometimes these Awards can feel like it's just handed out randomly, given to kids that seem less deserving than others.  Some months, it feels like, yeah, the kid who received the award really deserves that.  And unfortunately, there are times when, from what I know or have heard about certain kids, the award presented seems so off base. His teacher approached me and said that she asked the newest kid in his class (a 7th Grader who just started this year) who he felt welcomed him the most and showed him the most kindness.  The boy answered that it was my son, my youngest baby.  This news made me so emotional.  I'm so proud of my son for inhabiting such a beautiful trait as "Acceptance".

The Huz and I are so blessed with high achieving sons, ambitious in achieving their goals and passionate about the things that stir their souls.  And we've always been so proud of every accolade, every Report Card, every achievement.  But what really stirs my emotions and makes me feel accomplished as a Mom is when I hear what good, kind-hearted people my sons are! I can not adequately express how incredibly proud I am of both of my wonderful sons!!!  Thank you, Lord, for blessing us! 🙏 May we continue to put forth love, compassion and positivity out into the world! 🌎💙

 

 

 

Be Informed About DACA

So much has been said about DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals).  I've seen school institutions send out letters assuring students that they are safe.  I've seen celebrities post heartfelt and in my opinion, intelligent reflections in support of DACA. And on the other side of the coin, I've heard disdain for the program mainly complaining about following the law, defending jobs, and protecting citizens from criminals.  Since the election this past November, I've learned that it doesn't matter what facts are told to those that have taken a stand--either way.  If you support the government wholeheartedly and without question, I have to admit I have a hard time relating or understanding you.  But I can be open-minded to the idea that most people have the best of intentions and have no desire to hurt their fellow human beings. I have no interest in addressing the racists, misogynists, xenophobes...and all those with similar ideologies except to say, I wholeheartedly stand against you. With that in mind, I wanted to throw in my personal support for the DACA program and share what I know about it.

DACA participants are contributing members of society.

DACA participants contribute more to the government than they receive or are eligible for. Before standing in judgement and calling someone "illegal", please endeavor to see these individuals as human beings.  They have lived in this country their whole lives, have assimilated into the culture and may not have any knowledge of their country of origin (lifestyles and/or language).  Like I said, I'm not trying to convince anyone who stands in support of rescinding this bill.  I'm just trying to share what I know & what I believe.  It's my hope that I help spread some compassion for human kind...that every person has a story and every person deserves the chance to be heard.

 

 

Reading is Dreaming with Eyes Wide Open

When I'm reading a book I enjoy, I get to experience a world different from my own.  It's the best way to practice empathy and understand the idea of perspective.  No matter what genre you enjoy, you can learn and get something new out of every book you read.  Here are three book recommendations from me.  These books are in the genre of Contemporary Romance and are meant for adults, 18 + years old.

Cancun: Bad Boys on the Beach by Kimberly Fox 

It was hard for me to read the beginning part of this story.  Tanya is headed to her best friend’s wedding in Cancun, only she’s been downgraded to “bridesmaid” playing second fiddle to the obnoxious groom’s sister.  She is also attached to the worst boyfriend on the planet (my very biased assessment).  I feel like Tanya is the most patient, nicest character, almost to the point of being a doormat.  Enter Ethan, the groom’s cousin, & total hottie & hero. He is completely smitten with Tanya & makes no qualms about letting her know.  And as a reader, I began immediately rooting for him, if only for Tanya’s sake.  Does Tanya get the man of her dreams?  You’ll have to find out. 

Sparked by Lily Cahill 

There are numerous themes in this story—the division between social classes, domestic violence, romance, family ties, forgiveness, letting go and supernatural abilities.  Wait. What? Supernatural abilities? Yes, this book has that too!  But first, let’s journey with Cora and Clayton and root them on as they maneuver through their feelings for one another while trying to deal with the judgements of both of their families.  It’s often a rocky ride, but never once did I NOT root for Cora and Clayton.  Loved them both & I love this story! It’s the beginning of the Independence Fall Superhero Romance series.  Not sure if the title of the series gives away what it’s all about. LOL! Read this. It’s a good one!

The Navy Seal’s E-Mail Order Bride by Cora Seton 

Sounds like a funny title.  And it does start of quite funny.  Due to a stipulation regarding acquiring a family ranch, Mason Hall must find a bride and have a baby within a year.  Being a Navy Seal, he knows how to tackle assignments and missions. He approaches “task” like he would any other.  Through an on-line ad, he gets acquainted with Regan and makes it his mission to convince her to agree to marriage and a life on the ranch.  And seeing as how she’s pretty much given up on love, it’s fun to see what he’ll do to convince her.  It’s not like Regan isn’t instantly attracted to Mason either so maybe this “mission” won’t be so difficult after all.  This was a very fun read. 

Completely relatable!

 

And the struggle is real!   LOL!

It's the best way to enhance the skill of  "walking in someone else's shoes".

 

An Atheist and a Christian Walk Into a Bar

Ultimately what's most important is that a person is kind, good, compassionate, authentic and any other words that describe an overall decent person.  I am Catholic.  But I've met Catholic people that make me wonder if they understand what it means to accept Jesus' teachings which is basically summed up as "Love one another."  That means, stop judging and stop thinking you're superior to anyone else because of your race, creed, or social status.

Stop hating.

Be kind.

Be compassionate.

Something that seems simple never is.  But try anyway.

Love and peace to all!

Love one another!

Meaningful Choreography: Believer by Imagine Dragons

I'm attracted to all forms of art, and I'm particularly excited about any form of entertainment that speaks to my emotions.  Brilliant dancing & choreography is no exception.  One of my favorite groups Imagine Dragons released a song called "Believer" that is hauntingly beautiful and powerful. This choreography by Janelle Ginestra does a tremendous job representing the emotions this song conveys. I can't listen to this song without thinking about these dancers and this exceptional choreography! Clapping my hands with enthusiasm for the choreographer & dancers! Believer Lyrics:

First things first
I'ma say all the words inside my head
I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been, oh-ooh
The way that things have been, oh-ooh
Second thing second
Don't you tell me what you think that I can be
I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea, oh-ooh
The master of my sea, oh-ooh

I was broken from a young age
Taking my soul into the masses
Write down my poems for the few
That looked at me took to me, shook to me, feeling me
Singing from heart ache from the pain
Take up my message from the veins
Speaking my lesson from the brain
Seeing the beauty through the...

Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Pain!
You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer
Pain!
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My luck, my love, my God, they came from...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

Third things third
Send a prayer to the ones up above
All the hate that you've heard has turned your spirit to a dove, oh-ooh
Your spirit up above, oh-ooh

I was choking in the crowd
Living my brain up in the cloud
Falling like ashes to the ground
Hoping my feelings, they would drown
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
Till it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, like...

Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Pain!
You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer
Pain!
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My luck, my love, my God, they came from...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

Last things last
By the grace of the fire and the flames
You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh-ooh
The blood in my veins, oh-ooh
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
Till it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, like...

Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Pain!
You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer
Pain!
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My luck, my love, my God, they came from...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

Source: SongLyrics