I've consciously and unconsciously struggled with body image and relationship with food for as long as I could remember. I've been a participant of diet culture on and off my entire life. And only lately have I exposed myself to healthier mindsets found on vlogs and print that have focused on re-training the female mind to reject the constant pressures society puts on female appearances. When we tell a woman "she looks good" after losing weight, we don't take into account the journey that woman takes just to hear the (almost always temporary) euphoria she feels after hearing comments like that. Has she been starving herself to lose weight? Sometimes, yes.
The journey of gaining weight, losing weight, feeling inadequate, feeling unattractive for pounds gained, feeling accepted when weight is lost, then feeling like a failure when weight is gained--is a familiar cycle for many women. It certainly has been for me. And I never realized it was an issue and never equated it to my mental state over the years. It just felt normal to diet, to decide to go ahead and eat, feel guilty for not watching what I eat, then deciding oh, it's time to diet again. It's an ugly cycle I want to break.
That's not even including the idea of movement and exercise as a reward for consuming calories--if I eat this, I'll need to do *this* many sit-ups...etc... Movement and exercise is good for the body. It shouldn't be attached to restrictions or negotiations with food and calories ingested. My chosen form of exercise is walking. I walk because it makes me feel good--makes me feel stronger.
I've been learning all about gut health and eating foods that are good for the microbiome in my stomach. These foods include a variety of vegetables, legumes, both carbs and proteins--basically a variety of foods--some would describe as "healthy". But I've also learned that seeing food as "good" or "bad" is damaging and contributes to my participation in the diet culture. I'll allow myself to monitor sugar intake and other things because I know it will compromise my health if I don't, but I'll also have a brownie on occasion if I want it. I'm working towards finding a comfortable equilibrium.
So, I try and learn more--about myself, really. What works for me. Accept me--my metabolism, my appetite, my chosen mode of physical activity--all things that make me, me. And it's most often not what societal norms are. Ultimately, I believe most of us are just trying to feel and be comfortable in our own bodies. And as with many aspects in life it's a continuing, evolving life challenge for me.
I've found some helpful Youtube channels that focus on body acceptance, intuitive eating and a break from diet culture. Check them out if you feel you need some help or inspiration. But also, seek professional help if you need it too.
heal with kailin
Julia Ayers
Linda Sun
Along with these great Youtubers, be aware that the platform also has many vloggers perpetuating opposite ideologies--calorie counting, restrictive eating, various forms of dieting. Select content that fits your needs--what contributes to a healthier mindset. It's a tricky balance to navigate the whole culture of diet, body positivity, body acceptance, and body neutrality. 👽
Here's a great poem I found on Social Media. Hope you find something in it that inspires.
The female body was never supposed to be smooth, firm and flawless.
It was designed to create life, to host life, to feed life.
Yes there are many other amazing aspects to us all and this design in no way defines us, but underpinning our fight to retain a ‘figure’, is a whole network of genetics, science and an entire evolutionary process which wants to create, store and produce fat for protection and hormonal health.
So, if you are losing a battle for slimness, do not for a moment think this is all your fault.
You are trying to blow away the wind.
Feed yourself well, physically, mentally and spiritually, and then enjoy your life with the vessel you inhabit.
It’s a one shot only thing.
Peace, laughter and acceptance are the best medicines around.
