Post Election Life Continues and Hope Endures

The election did not go the way that I had hoped. And I have to admit, it left me pretty shaken and continues to send me on occasional emotional lows. But as I always try to do, I choose to find the positive in everything. One of my favorite reactions was from Stephen Colbert.

 I'm thankful that I have an amazing husband & partner in life that I can discuss these major issues with.  Someone who can join me in weighing the pros and cons on issues and who can always be my second fact checker or a voice of reason when I'm about to jump off the irrational cliff.  And I'm grateful for intelligent and thought provoking children who are growing up to be remarkable free-thinkers, often asking the "why" question.  Because of my sons, I'm held accountable for the reasoning of my own beliefs. It's made me think much deeper about my own ideologies.

One of the biggest struggles I've had with this particular campaign is the notion that anyone who voted for Trump is a racist, misogynist, homophobic sexist.  I'm surrounded by Trump supporters in my life--relatives, friends, acquaintances.  If I held onto this reasoning, I would honestly have to write all these people out of my life and realistically speaking, that is just not an option.  I reached out to two of my most trusted and valued friends, whom I knew voted for Hillary, to ask for their insight on my struggle to reconcile these feelings of disappointment and confusion.  I shouldn't have been surprised to discover that both women were equally navigating their own struggles with people in their own lives. One advice I received was, "hold our heads high...and keep fighting for what we believe". The second advice was, "can't change any of it...refocus on my immediate family". I take both of these advice to heart.        

I didn't have to look very far to find the person who gave me thoughts and words of wisdom with the deepest solace. My husband.  He says that for most people (especially for our family members), religion was what led them to believe Trump is the better choice. Many voters are single-issue voters.  That issue alone is what makes them decide who they will support.  So for many voters, the abortion issue took center stage.

Saying that every Trump voter is a racist is just as false as saying that all liberal Democrats are "pro-abortion" or "baby killers", as I've heard countless times. As a liberal Democrat, I can assure you, these labels don't fit me.  Growing up in the Catholic School system and essentially being raised & influenced by Carmelite Sisters (nuns), Pro-Life was the most vocal stance in politics I ever really heard about.  Fast forward to 2016 & I'm now a Mom and an adult woman who can empathize with issues that women face. It's hard for me to state because of all the stigma it is associated with, but I am Pro-Choice.

I am not Pro-Abortion.  I am not a baby killer.  But I believe that a woman--whose body is being affected, whose life will undoubtedly change with the reality of pregnancy and motherhood--has the right to make the decisions and choices they see fit in their life. A defining incident in my life gave me this bold (because in my family & religious circle, this is bold) stance on this issue.

I was at a school function about five years ago chatting with a fellow Mom about the prospects of having more children.  Before motherhood, I wanted two children.  I have my two children--both planned--and my husband & were done with our baby-making phase.  We were and are now parents & we would be concentrating on the very tough job of raising our two sons.  A man comes up to me & says, "No. You are not allowed to decide you're done.  Only God does."  His statement shook me to the core.  I was extremely offended that this man, who doesn't even know me, had the nerve to tell me that my choice to not have anymore children was not mine to make. I reject that. If I followed every stance my religion takes, birth control is also unacceptable.  It's a sin and I may go to hell.  But I don't believe that and my husband & I use birth control (in whatever personal form we choose) with no guilt and no fear of going to hell. I do not believe it is a sin. I'm not a drone.  I don't have to believe every aspect of my religion.  And with this, I don't..

Do I believe abortion is wrong? Yes. Fundamentally, I do.  I could never have an abortion and the thought of any life being taken before it has a chance to thrive is heartbreaking to me.  But those are my beliefs.  I can not impose those on another woman who simply doesn't agree with me.  What she might see is a fetus...no personality, not sentient yet, etc...That is why we have a separation of Church and State.  My religious beliefs should not be imposed on someone else.

Everyone has the option to work towards educating women on other alternative choices besides abortion--usually adoption being the main alternative given to women.  But there are down sides to placing kids in a very flawed system that may result in a suffering child who will grow up to be a bitter adult, problems that society will eventually have to deal with. If you counsel a woman to keep her baby, you better be prepared to help that woman feed, clothe & nurture that child too.  Because parenthood is more than the moment of birth. As a very active Mom I can attest to that, & believe me, raising kids is not at all easy.

So, that's my stance on the abortion issue.  But I believe voting and electing a President should be more than a single issue.  I believe in taking a position on education, civil rights, equality, foreign policy and so much more. I believe that everyone who has the ability to vote has the obligation to research these areas of policy and make an educated and informed decision based on their morals and ideologies. In saying all that, I stand proud that I voted for Hillary Clinton.  I stand with all people of color, faiths, women, creeds...all who have felt oppressed in our society. I voted for who I thought would fight the hardest to uphold the best interests of my fellow citizens.

But at the same time, I choose not to harbor grudges or hate for those that simply don't see things the way I see things.  Hate is too much a burden to carry. I would rather believe and hope in the triumph of goodness.  And that is what I will hold onto moving forward.  As President Obama said on Election Night, "No matter what happens, the sun will rise in the morning". And guess what, it does!

Because laughing is often the best path to happiness.