Never the Villain in Your Own Story

Back a ways, I spotted a quote I will never forget.  It went something like, "You're never the villain in your own story". That quote has stayed with me & I've repeated it to various people since it struck a chord with me and I've always gotten a "Ahaaa", like it was also relatable to others.🙋  I think the deepest meaning of the quote encourages true empathy for how others feel and deal with what life throws at them. Over the years, I've encountered (and often feel subjected) to various negative-type personalities.  It's been a life journey of navigating how to react to anger, cruelty, snobbish behavior--I think the list can go on.   But what I've learned the most about human behavior is that one never wants to see themselves as the person doing the wrong to others.  Their perspective & story is always about how the OTHER person is the one to blame and how the OTHER person's character is questionable. But let's face it, even when we're the ones complaining about another person, they always have their own perspective on the situation.  And most likely, we're not the innocent party in their version of the story.

Never was this reflection better illustrated than in dealing with Someone I once knew.

(Reminds me of that song by Gotye "Someone I used to Know" 😁 ). I feel like I have so much more to say about Someone & her contribution to my life--which has blessedly ended--yielding with it much material for me to self-reflect upon and write about.  I hope that by sharing my experiences with and about her, I can also heal from the mild trauma I feel she has put on my soul. 🙇 Sounds a bit on the dramatic side, but writing has always been a form of self-therapy for me.

Once, Someone was ghosted by a friend of ours (more an acquaintance for me) and she claimed that the other person was jealous of her and couldn't handle all the successes and positives happening in her life.  I remember finding this explanation a little odd & always kept an open mind as to the real reason.  Recently, I found out that the true reason the friendship was ended was because "Someone" was always insulting the other person's son. Then Someone got into a conflict with another mutual friend of ours (this time the person is much closer to me) and Someone claimed that our friend was annoying her and not able to make decisions properly.  I also found out from our friend (with text message proof) that Someone always had an opinion about every situation & decision (cookies versus cupcakes) so it was difficult to truly make choices without her "approval".  And along the way, she was rude and insulting & really hurt our sweet friend's feelings. 😕

But she's not the villain & will never be the villain in her own eyes. And until I became the object of her rudeness and anger, I never truly thought about how negatively she contributed to my peace of mine.

I recently blocked all her posts from my Socials so I can never see what angry and heavy laden posts she makes about other people's behaviors.  And I can only imagine how much of a villain I am in her story simply because she couldn't control who I choose to allow in my life.  I will never permit anyone to tell me who I can and can't associate with. That's toxic and it's hard for me to swallow what other toxic behaviors I've allowed over the years.

But ultimately, I feel sorry for her. She is a person who seems to be hurting very deeply. She must be.