How Are You Always So Calm?

Do you have a person in your life that feels the need to offer unsolicited opinions about a range of topics including personal life choices? Well if you do, you're not alone. We have that "precious" person as a member of our extended family, so it is something that we have to deal with periodically (although we choose to limit exposure to her energy) but indefinitely for the rest of our lives.

Even most recently, she offered a strong opinion on how we choose to deal with Pandemic 2020 & how we choose to stay safe & protect our mental health (something I take very seriously in regards to every member of my immediate family).  Her judgements on this matter (as well as other matters in her life) have been sketchy to us but we don't offer our opinion because I believe in respecting one's personal choices. I've always held the belief that what is right for one, doesn't mean it's right for the other. But nonetheless, she tells us what she thinks & does it in a way that makes one feel attacked.  That's how she's always been.

Does it bother me?  Ok, I'm going to be honest.  Yes! It irks me & I find myself spending wasted (or at least it feels like it) time on feeling irritated & angry at her & her behavior. But after I allow myself time to feel annoyed & vent, I realize that it truly isn't worth it to allow her to reside in my mind.  Ultimately, I've never made a decision based on any advice she's ever offered & have never altered life events due to her criticisms. So why give her the power to make me feel any negative emotions? Realistically, she will always be in our lives (hopefully in small doses), and she's not someone we can remove--like we would a toxic friend or acquaintance (feel free to banish those from your life). I can't control how she behaves, but I can control how much energy I put into reacting to her "input".

So, how does one remain calm? Just like Spock says, don't argue--I prefer no response at all, but if you want to take sarcastic pleasure try out the "You're right" response. It's the ultimate form of diplomacy.  And take it from me, when you're dealing with this type of person, you will never "win"--in the sense that she will never be kind or just offer support or just root for you to be happy.  Take a deep breathe & channel that Spock Vulcan energy. It's the most peaceful way to deal with toxic people you can't expel from your life.

If you have someone like this in your life, I hope knowing that you're not alone offers some comfort.  Choose to be happy & don't let negativity get you down. Stay safe, everyone & live long and prosper! XOXO