The Justification of a Slap Heard Round the World

Because I felt such strong emotions, I've given myself some time to reflect on Will Smith assaulting Chris Rock at the Oscars. My initial reaction was horror and disbelief at the act itself, but when I took to the internet and saw the comments of support for Will Smith, my feelings turned to disappointment in humanity. I couldn't grasp, and still can't, the concept that people were rooting for a man hitting another man because he said some awful things about his wife. 

I'm not going to even argue on that particular point. Insulting jokes are always hurtful. People should speak out on that and defend others from hateful speech.  As someone who advocates kindness above all else, I couldn't agree more with that notion. Words do matter. I've been in the direct line of hateful and unkind words and I, firsthand, know and relate to how painful being on that end can be.  And everyone should be mindful of what they say to others because we don't know what someone is going through and that one awful moment of hateful words can affect them in ways that are unfathomable.

But the solution to Chris Rock's irreverent comedy is not a punch to the face. For me, that stance is non-negotiable. Will Smith intentionally rose from his chair, calmly walked over to the microphone where Chris Rock was doing "a shtick" and proceeded to punch or slap him in the face, walked back to his seat then proceeded to yell out profanities to Chris Rock justifying why he did what he just did.  Chris Rock, to his credit, responded awkwardly then continued on with the show.

Then I started reading the comments: good for Will for defending his wife. How dare Chris Rock talk about Will's wife like that. He deserved it. Then I also heard from women: that's how you defend someone you love.  Or, I wish I  had a man who stood up for me like Will did for his wife. 

As a wife and mother of two sons, I can honestly say that I would never want either The Huz or my Sons to react in the way Will Smith did. Apart from the unwarranted violence, he reacted in an impulsive manner that in any other situation would have had dire consequences...a return punch that may have resulted in more violence and/or legal action.  There is always a better way to handle unkind interactions and punching someone is not one of those ways. It was not self-defense. It was a violent attack. Will Smith is in the privileged and unique position to have a strong platform in speaking out against bullying.  And he could have taken this opportunity to speak out against the insult that was directed toward his wife--bring more awareness to her medical condition and truly bring a voice to the struggles that people inflicted with it face. But instead, his actions took away, not only from the powerful awareness of the condition, but of the historical and magical night of him winning an Academy Award.

To his credit, Will made a public apology to Chris a day later.

 

I'm still trying to process that a major part of society who has opinions on this incident, are defending Will Smith and agreeing with his actions. For me, he did the wrong thing. As I've heard others say, full stop.  That's it.  Will Smith is, was wrong in hitting Chris Rock. And it breaks my heart that that stance is unpopular.  💔

Violence, in this case, was the wrong choice.