Not Because They Can't, Because I Want to

I remember seeing memes or posts when the boys were growing up that said they had to be taught to do for themselves--cook, do their own laundry, all those kinds of things. My love language specifically towards them (and to their Dad), however, has always been taking care of them--like, I love cooking them food, planning out meals, and making sure they are fueled and nourished. And they've never really been interested in cooking so I never pushed it. 

When my First-Born was getting ready to go off to college, I remember second-guessing the way life happened (just for a quick hot minute) and wondered if I should have pushed him to cook more for himself and those kinds of "taking care of yourself" things. But then he went...and he was fine.  He figured out how to fend for himself, and honestly, no huge drama came about regarding those sorts of things--everyday, living stuff. He's a smart kid and is clearly able to adjust to life changes and what-not. And the Youngest joined him a couple of years later. Yes, they are accustomed to being cared for, but when they are left to their devices, they can do it.  They do it.  

I still make meal preps and worry about their food supply, but that's on me. For me. I can't help, I'm just that kind of Mom, "Hey, have you eaten? What did you eat?  What are you gonna eat?"  Also, it's a running joke between The Huz and I that when the boys are with us, they act like kids again. But when they're not with us, they live responsibly and manage their own lives. 

So, my advice as a Mom is, just do what you want to do for your kids. Adulting and independence are inevitable. Do what makes YOU happy as a parent because either way, life happens and these young adults live their lives and experience their own ups and downs. I mean, of course, it all depends on your kids and you know what's best for them. So show them love the way you want to show them love--do things for them because you want to. Don't worry too much about societal expectations or "normal-ness". 

This Mom loves to love on her kids. My Young Adults.  I will and do continue to find ways to express my love for them. And I give myself full permission to do so.  All Moms should. XO