Appearances Are Just That...

Announcements of break-ups/divorces are often the most jarring to hear especially when a couple seems thriving and happy. And the shock and surprise is the same whether it's celebrities we think we know or people we actually know in real-life. The music group "Us the Duo's" divorce announcement had me shook for a couple of days and I'm still shaking my head about it (again, I don't know them personally). Divorces I hear about from my sons' first elementary school had me double-taking when I first heard about them as well. These couples most often portrayed happy and loving unions.

The biggest take-away is that we just simply don't know what is going on with people unless we're in the thick of their lives. So, we really only know what's going on with us--our life, our perceptions, and our realities and we can't assume anything about others as a fact just from what we "see" or the conclusions we make from what we think we know. It's just an opinion or a theory unless we know, know.

Even in my own life, I'm not going to post an Instagram on a struggling moment or something that doesn't bring me joy. Even further, I don't post the day-to-day routine stuff--although, I'm thankful for everyday life, they are not noteworthy enough to post.  I often use my Social Media as a sort of diary I want to look back on so it makes sense that the content is curated to intentional moments I want to either share or document for memories. I, myself, am an active participant in the notion of "Instagram versus Reality".  Most people are. 

So, when people start to compare themselves through the lens of Social Media, it becomes this cycle of envy or not feeling adequate with your life path. But logically, we should remember that if we're selecting what to post and not to post, it only makes sense that so are other people. Give ourselves the grace to not be perfect, to know that everyone goes through ups and downs, struggles and triumphs and it's all a part of life. It's okay to admire someone, to root for someone, to wish all the wonderful things for others--but just don't turn the malice on yourself. We're all striving to have a happy or at the very least, a contented life, so let's do that without comparing or maligning.

Concentrate on creating your own personal joys, focusing on relationships and making sure you're actually happy and communicating with your partner/loved ones and not just creating content (which may or may not be true) to post. Work on having a healthy romantic relationship for real instead of trying to show a loving relationship that may not actually be true. Because, frankly,  if your romantic union is not authentically solid, that break-up and/or divorce announcement will inevitably happen and any illusions you were trying to create would be destroyed anyway. 

 My point in this journal/reflection is that many things we see & hear on Social Media or on superficial social interactions (active social lives, wealth...all those kinds of things...) are not exactly what they seem sometimes--we don't really know. So, don't dwell.  Just live your life and make sure you create real joy for you. Enjoy your life. Get through the tough moments. AND wish well for others. 💋

 

Found this post while I was writing this entry. Sums up a lot and is very fitting.