Selective Sharing: Privacy is Not the Same as Secrecy

This is a post on Social Media

Ultimately, whatever you decide to post is your choice and honestly people will judge your life through their eyes and make assumptions whenever or wherever they choose. Honestly, I've been the most entertained by the over-sharers on my timeline and I've often cringed at how much someone will reveal about their personal life. Again, I'm not the posting police and feel that you have the right and the prerogative to post as much and as little about your life as you deem fit.  But my personal opinion is "less is more".  You can post about your life without revealing too much, and being a social media enthusiast myself, I find it a satisfying challenge to find those "postable" parts of our lives without giving viewers more than what's consciously and deliberately intended for sharing.

An old co-worker used to post many entries regarding her husband--their romance, how much they mean to each other and so on. Then she started posting cryptic entries like "finding herself" or wanting to "travel alone".  As a "reader" it was clear something different was going on in her life. After some time, she then posted she was single and that she wants to preserve her privacy and feels that she doesn't have to share anything she doesn't want to. Ok.  I mean, of course, she's allowed to post whatever she wants.  But talk about a let-down for some of us who felt invested in the "story" of her life.  Again, I'm just being cheeky in that she doesn't owe any of us an explanation of her life.  She shared what she shared and now she doesn't want to.  But I wonder if she has regrets?  Plus, I believe she unfriended most people...even myself who offered no comment on her life.  I'm not sure what her reasoning was on that, but she certainly has that right. But I can't help but speculate that deleting friends may have much to do with regrets she felt for posting too much of her life.

Most recently, an old high school peer started posting entries that alluded to her husband stepping out of their marriage.  The posts dominated my timeline for a bit and although I was wondering what was happening, I also felt uncomfortable that she was displaying her life so freely.  After some time, she posted that her husband had come home and they were "working it out".  Shortly after that, she started posting about how great her family life had become, how attentive her husband was being and that they were planning to renew their vows.  As much as I try not to, you know I was all over the place judging her. But she chose to post what she did (and is continuing to post) so I guess it just comes with the territory.  I'm not sure how her story will unfold, but what she has shared in the past & what she will continue to share in the present and future will follow her whether she may want them to or not. As an unintentional voyeur of her life, I can only hope that she only has positive things to post about her relationship from here on out. Although truthfully as a judging human, I don't have many positive things to feel about a man in a committed relationship who cheats. 🚫

When all is said and done, you decide what you want to share with anyone or everyone.  That being said, I would also like to encourage more mindful choices in what one posts.  You can be private about some things and open about other things.  The reader doesn't know.  They take in whatever is put out.  And once it's put out there, even if deleted, can never be taken back. If even one person sees it, the damage is done. Trust me, I've seen people post something in anger and haste, take it down and still be severely judged for it (even if they don't realize it).

Be guided by kindness, especially to yourself.  Sending light & love! 😘

Following The Rules To Be Kind

I've had many breakfasts at this establishment over the years. And I'm thankful they exist. It's a place to have delicious breakfast sandwiches, coffee and various baked goods. They're local and an ideal place to meet up with friends as I've done many times. 

When I read the above post I immediately feel the desperation in their words. To reach the point of feeling like they needed to post something, they would have had to reach a breaking point--the kind of harassment that felt the necessity to speak up. And I feel much empathy and anger on their behalf. 

The pandemic has not only been a difficult situation for many, but it's also been polarizing--some believing that it's somehow a world-wide hoax.  If it is, it's the most organized hoax there ever is, to have every country cooperate and continue to perpetuate it--to have hospital and medical professionals reiterate the causes of death and inflate hospitalization numbers. Anything is possible, I guess.  So you are free to believe what you want. Of course you are. It's marvelous to be able to say, "in my opinion..."   

But as a society we create order through rules with the intention of protecting the group as a whole. For example, cities enact speed limits on highways & even stricter speed limits in school zones. Drivers are not free to drive as fast as they want in these areas or they will be subject to consequences. Again, people are free to disagree of the effectiveness of speed limits and they can express these feelings to whomever want to listen, but it is what it is and if one chooses to speed, they will receive a costly ticket and/or other outcomes. 

We are in a pandemic.  Yes, I know some people may disagree.  So, naturally, wearing a mask as an additional barrier to help slow or stop the spread of a "faux" virus is something they strongly disagree with.  I've heard it.  I know it.  But how we behave in this society is a choice. You can absolutely & totally refuse.  You can fight every business that chooses to follow the states' mask mandates.  You have every right to yell and scream and cause trouble for workers at businesses.  

But wow, that's truly truly on you as a human being when you choose to cause trouble for people who are just trying to continue going about their business--trying to stay open and do the best they can in the most difficult situation.  They may even not agree with the mandates themselves--but they want to keep their businesses open.  And some just truly want to keep themselves and their employees as safe as they can.

Freedom includes not supporting businesses you disagree with if that's what aligns with your personal integrity.  Rather than coming into an establishment and causing them problems, go somewhere else (if you look hard enough, there are a good handful of businesses with like minds to any situation) or make your own coffee and baked goods, shop online (where masks are not required) etc... Stay true to yourself, but do it kindly. 

Some businesses exhibit sassy energy to counteract the vocal push-backs with their rules.

 

There is too much toxicity in the world right now especially in politics.  Name-calling is the norm and if you belong from different political parties, you are each others' enemies. Morality, integrity, decency and overall character is questioned. I'm no exception--I've done my fair share of judging others. But lately, I've fallen back from this mindset.  I've decided that politics is not going to be WHO I am.  For some individuals, their political beliefs are a defining characteristic of who they are--they live and breathe it. Admittedly, my beliefs do lean towards one party...but that party doesn't encompass everything that I believe in.  I don't have rose-colored glasses to the corruption and propaganda from BOTH parties. AND I don't believe there is ONE answer to all the problems existing in society or one political party that holds all the said answer or answers. 

Mask, no-masks, vaccinations, no-vaccinations.  So freakin' polarizing. But humanity -- caring for others. Taking a step back and focusing on kindness and how we treat others around us--that's what I want to focus on.  That's the type of person I want to be. 

So, that being said.  When a business says, put on a mask, put it on.  Otherwise, find another business to patronize. That's the kind thing to do. 

As always, wishing light & love out to the universe and into your lives. XOXO 😗

 

My Memory Bank is Rich with Gratitude

This summer felt important.  The Youngest was going to be a Junior and the First-Born was heading to University. Major milestones.  I didn't want to think too much about it--some would probably say I was in denial.  Ok.  I was.  The speed of time never felt more overwhelming than at this time in my life.  

Because of the pandemic (and some home improvements we had scheduled), we didn't plan any travel destinations.  We felt comfortable with the little excursions, staying fairly local and sticking to what many refer to as "staycations".  We did Disneyland Resort for a couple days staying at an off-property hotel, we did a dinner & show, we watched several movies, went to lunches and dinners, and just generally spent time being together (and lifting each others' spirits when we needed it).  We're fortunate enough to genuinely enjoy each others' company and this particular summer in general I wanted to bask in their company. I love all of our big activity/travel memories, but I also cherish the ordinary moments--the conversations, the laughs, the teasing, the hugs--all special to my full Mom-heart.  

The day The Youngest went to his High School Junior Orientation was pretty much the unofficial, official start to breaking out of the summer mode and facing the reality of the milestone changes ahead. He received his school I.D., his textbooks and his class schedule--in a week's time, he would begin his 11 Grade life journey.

The First-Born was gathering all his things for dorm move-in. But before all that he attended the college honors program, received a super nice water bottle & got a good look at the building he was going to be residing in just a couple of days. And then the day arrived--Move-In Day. 

It was a calm yet emotional day. We pretty much helped him move his things in, had a nice dinner with him, stopped by Target for some last-minute items and spent quality time with him before we finally had to leave. More than a farewell, it was a "see you soon", since he isn't too far away. Plus, thanks to modern technology, we have instant texts, phone calls & Skype. But yes, my heart hurts.  That's my baby I'm leaving to fend for himself. My love for him is exponential & I wish him all the joy, self-fulfillment and success that is meant for him. I pray for him. I cheer him on.

We had a pleasant & delicious dinner at a local Ramen restaurant very close to the First-Born's University.

The First-Born sent a selfie for his first day of actual classes. 💛

The Youngest started Junior Year (11th Grade) High School as well. It was a good day but he was understandably tired. Back to the grind.

It's been eventful in our household and I've been trying to feel every moment, appreciate it all and understand how special and significant events large and small are. I have just the best memories with my family and I pray for many more to deposit into my memory bank. 

Wishing everyone a heart full of gratitude and love & light. XOXO