Reading: We Sit, We Breathe, We Escape

I feel like my reading habits fluctuate. There are times when I just keep on reading, book after book. Then there are times I take a huge hiatus and barely even turn my Kindle on.  I'm not sure what triggers these reading moods, but when I do get back on it, I revisit my great love of stories and being transported to whatever time and space the authors take me to.  If  you end up reading any of these titles, I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

Allure by C.A. Harms: Rhett believed that Harley was his forever. But in one conversation, she changed everything by revealing that she was moving with her family and later, more life future plans changed when she decided to go to another college. Rhett began just existing and in the state of “waiting” hoping Harley would come back.  But again something changed & he felt compelled to try and move on.  Enter A.J., a fantastic girl and someone he enjoys being with.  But A.J. understandably feels insecure about Rhett’s true feelings and wonders what they have is authentic.  I found Rhett charming in this story and I felt vested in what would happen to him and his true love—whoever that ends up being. 

 

 

Give Me Yesterday by K. Webster and Elle Christensen: This story is an incredible emotional story of love and loss. We are introduced to Victoria and her journey through the stages of grief when she loses her young husband and toddler child to a terrible traffic accident.  She is closed off to love and doesn’t really complete the mourning process because she would rather run away from the pain.  But she ends up meeting Chase and his persistence allows her to face her feelings and open up to the possibility of love again. Chase too is mourning a loss of his own.  Together they try to heal one another with their love and connection until more pain threatens to break up the union.  The journey of reading their story, with the emotional ups and downs, was a satisfying roller coaster ride. 

 

 

Country Heaven (Dare River) by Ava Miles: Rye is a country singer estranged from his family and Tory is a graduate student who lost her parents in a car accident and raised by a grandmother who instilled in her a love for cooking. Tory ends up taking a position as Rye’s chef while he is on tour and they become good friends (who also happen to be attracted to each other). The story is filled with themes of family (and some toxic aspects associated with it), forgiveness and acceptance. Tory also “shares” some of her mouth-watering recipes including Lemon Meringue Pie and a Chocolate Chip Pie. And if you like country music, there’s so much of that type of vibe in this story.  So many cute and heartwarming moments in this one and I enjoyed it. 

 

 

Instantly Unattractive

Being happily married for 23 years and counting makes me see this question differently. I'm interpreting it as "What trait or characteristic instantly repels you from someone?" and for me, this isn't in a romantic sense but more in the desire to even want to further a conversation or wanting to get to know someone further as a friend or even as an acquaintance--because all types of interactions can potentially drain positive energy. 
 

One of the biggest trait that repels me is the "Know-It-all". This is the personality that exudes superiority over all topics, most especially topics that are the most polarizing and controversial. And sometimes they "know it all" even with situations they clearly haven't had experience with--like parenting, psychology (they know you better than you know yourself), personal lives of celebrities they've never met, etc... Usually this person is just blatant about stating their opinions and dominating conversation. They know it all. And they will let YOU know that you don't.  Or that you're wrong--often making it a point to cut down your intelligence in order to lift themselves up. It took me some time in life and adulthood to see this trait for what it is (and I've met many that fit this criteria--do I somehow attract these types??) and put it in its place on how I react it. To put it plainly, I don't.  Just smile and nod. 

The other trait that is highly unattractive to me (a very close runner-up) is the personality type that always has something judgemental to say about others--how they dress, what their hobbies are, what type of food they like to eat--like why do you have something hateful to say about everything?  It's obviously toxic and as I get older, I'm NOT about it at all. It's a no thank you, next, for me. 😏

Treat People Accordingly

When I saw this quote, it made me think of a client that The Huz has had to deal with for many months, is currently dealing with and will, frustratingly, continue to deal with for the foreseeable future. She was inherited from someone who appeared to have made many mistakes and it was The Huz' job to smooth things over and fix the shaky relationship between her and the company. 

As time progressed, The Huz started to realize that, yes there were business issues and mistakes made, but her aggressive and dare I say, petty, attitude did nothing to help any of the issues happening. She would start off interactions with, "I told YOU, I already went over this, or YOU messed up."  Mind you, the "you" was a generic term that often didn't pertain to The Huz since he never dealt with the issues she was attacking him with. When The Huz would politely ask for a background update or more information, she would angrily say she already went over it even though it wasn't with The Huz, but with a previous person handling her account. She seems to always be angry and confrontational...and never happy, never satisfied, even when problems were handled or there were no problems to speak of. She is a person idling on ready-to-attack. 

On a recent interaction with her, The Huz said something like, "Thanks for the heads up." And her response was a curt, "It's not a heads up, it's policy."  That one interaction (among a myriad) alone was a marker, an indicator of where this lady is willing (and able) to meet with The Huz on a civilized, cordial manner. With her, there is no room for niceties. She isn't willing to accept it and she certainly isn't willing to dispense it.   

Meeting after meeting of being subjected to her personality and dreading every correspondence, and frankly after many vent sessions where I simply listen and occasionally offer advice, he's come to the same thought process as of the above quote. Just treat her accordingly, not in a mean way, but in the most professional business-manner way he knows how. There is no need for pleasantries (she seems to be irritated by those anyway), but just pure business demeanor. I have confidence that The Huz, as professional as he's always been, knows how to act on this realization appropriately.  Ultimately, I hope this works for him, because that's all that concerns me--The Huz' mental health. 

It goes back to the notion that we can't control others' behavior, we can only control or regulate our reactions to them. This lady will continue to be who she is, interact with others as she does. And there are more out there similar to her interacting with all sorts of people, traumatizing people who probably need kindness and understanding in their lives. Unfortunately, that's just the reality of the matter, so if we can hold on to this quote to help us manage then all the better. I hope it helps someone, anyone it can.  

Don't treat people badly, treat them accordingly.  The words can be interpreted and manifested in a plethora of ways, but if you can make it work for you and still be appropriately positive and kind to yourself and others, make it happen.  😘                                    

How am I Aware?

Beautiful rose in our yard.

I saw a writing prompt simply asking, "How am I aware?" It's such a vague question and can literally be applied to any aspect of life. But it instigated a moment of reflection for me--because if I were honest, many times in my life feels foggy because I was either in a tired, stressed or anxious era. Full disclosure though, I tend to not have the best memory about details in general--although I remember random instances that I may or may not wish I didn't.

These last few years have seen many milestone changes for me including two high school graduations within 2 years, adjusting to being a dorm college Mom (with the Youngest soon to follow), and before, during and currently, in a constant journey towards self actualization of purging toxicity and leaning towards peace, joy and acceptance. It's kind of a lot and at the same less dramatic than it sounds. 

My First-Born graduated high school towards the end, but still in the midst of Covid and while I felt enormously proud of him, I also had to make room for feeling anxious not only for the overall health of my family but also the worries of sending him off to college, my baby--overprotected and sheltered.  Two years later, my Youngest has graduated high school and will be joining the First Born in college--I'm more awake, more alert to feel additional feelings and less unhinged with uncertainty. I'm extremely proud of them both and I hope that whatever I'm going through internally, they know in their hearts how much they mean to me and they, above all else are of the highest priority in my mind and heart. 

Within these past years, I've also been more keenly aware of toxicity in my life--people who don't contribute to my peace and who don't add to my own positive mental health. Whether it was a conscious, deliberate break, or a gradual cleansing of these relationships, I have a more curated assembly of people that bring me joy. It's important to note that many things are out of our control--like who comes in and out of your life and toxic family members that will always be around--even in a small way--but part of growing is being able to handle how much these interactions I allow to trigger me or how I choose to react to toxic behavior. The truth is, I'll probably be working on my internal peace forever because it's extremely difficult to not let toxicity bother you, but I'm counting on my continuing awareness to get me through these moments. 

So back to the original writing prompt: How am I aware?  I'm aware because I let my feelings flow through. I go through the negative feelings and more often than not, reach towards the positive. And I'm aware it's a cycle. You just gotta go through it to get through it, and let it all happen again. I can and do appreciate the wonderful things in my life. I'm thankful for my immediate family--The Huz & our two Sons--they are everything, they mean everything to me--and I feel the happiest when they are happy, at peace and doing well. It can be unhealthy because I worry about them--maybe too much--but I'm okay with it because I don't feel the need to change that--just find a way to deal with it and go through emotions in a healthier way. I'm thankful for my interests in romance books, writing and journaling, and consuming content entertaining to me. I love food--eating and cooking. I love the West Coast and where I live. I'm leaning into my love for amateur photography.📸  I love colors in art and in nature--like beautiful flowers (bright red roses for example) and majestic trees. All of these things and more... I want to be aware of it all. 👀