Feminism with Love

I'm fortunate enough to be surrounded by amazing, strong and confident women--all different, all traveling different life journeys--but all wonderful, beautiful and fierce in their own way.  And unfortunately, sometimes, women judge other women harshly for individual choices--whether it be choosing to be a full-time mother, working mom, married, single, choosing to never be a mom, etc, etc. If you're on one side of the fence (a place an individual chooses to put themselves), sometimes you tend to think YOUR choices are the best--what's right.  But honestly, what's right for one person, isn't right for another. 

Feminism invokes different feelings in people.  For some, especially women, the word draws forth  empowerment.  Others use it as a weapon to criticize what they don't understand or agree with--labeling "feminists" as man-hating people.  For me, "feminism" is about women realizing their worth and fighting to make sure that women have the same opportunities as men in society do.  In my version of feminism, both men and women can and should be feminists.  It's not about "girls are better" or "women know more".  It's about giving women the chance to do things that they want to do without stereotyping them into a role they supposedly are not suited for.  Also, feminism, for me, includes not stereotyping men into roles that require them to be "tough" and giving them no room for vulnerability.

So, in essence, it goes back to the more empowering message, "do you"!  This means, "like a girl" changes it's negative connotation to mean that being a girl can be just as strong as any boy.  Throw "like a girl", run "like a girl".  Throw strong, run fast! The expression "man up" doesn't fit anymore.  You mean, "human up", right? Because ALL humans have the ability to draw strength when needed.

Feminism with love...not judging the choices that women or men make in their lives.  Not judging what people do in relationships, in career, in fashion...respecting individual choices and not assuming that they are making the wrong choice because of a belief that it's against one's gender. Whether a man or a woman chooses a simple life, or a high-powered career, it is their choice. Whether a woman decides to wear a short skirt or pants, it's their choice. Feminism is respecting choices.

I saw this meme the other day on one of my feeds & LOVED it! It sums up my stance on motherhood too! Every choice we make is judged--most especially by other mothers. I remember feeling judgement when my kids were young about pretty much the topics above and more.  No one way of loving parenting is right or wrong. We do what feels right. So when I meet a mom with young kids, I make it a point to not judge...and in some instances I can see them about to make an excuse for a particular choice...and I'm like, "Hey, you do what's right for you & your baby." 

As the wife of a loving & forward-thinking man and mother of two brilliant boys, I don't have room in my mind to "hate men" (as I've often heard feminists of feeling). I simply don't.  I am a nurturer and their happiness is my constant goal and focus. I root for my guys' successes and as a mom, I want my boys to follow their dreams and find contentment in their lives. I want them to make the right life path choices, the ones that give them the most joy and peace, whether it has huge monetary rewards or not.  I want my boys to have the same opportunities as anyone else regardless of their (multicultural) race and especially regardless of their gender.  A mothers' unselfish wishes are the same whether they are the mother of boys or girls.  Feminism with love.

I am a feminist.  I believe in human rights, individual rights and equality for all. I am a feminist. So, for those willing to be open-minded.  Let's redefine feminism.  Love for all.